i hate when babies cry like grow the fuck up and pay taxes
i have the ugliest body ever i want a refund
I hope the royal baby goes through an emo phase
"she shouldn’t have worn that skirt to the frat party."
"yeah, well, archduke franz ferdinand shouldn’t have been wandering around sarajevo in an open-top car, so i guess he was asking to be murdered, too."
getting that thing in the mail like
FACT OF THE DAY: mars is called the red planet because during the cold war it sided with the communists
"And what do we say to death?"
"The fuck out my face"